January 20, 2005
"Important factors could cause actual results to differ materially from the forward-looking statements contained herein"
Subject: re: Press Release
From: Public Relations
Pursuant to our press release issued on July XX, 200- that enumerated "factors which could cause actual results to differ from the forward-looking statements contained herein", various factors were inadvertently omitted, including, among other things, but not limited to, and without prejudice towards any given factor: the sudden encounter of an astronomical body with the third planet from the sun in the Sol solar system of the Milky Way Galaxy; an intemperate rise in average global temperature of aforementioned planet; an intemperate fall in average global temperature of same; the congealing of dihydrogen oxide within the supernatural realm governed by Lucifer; seismologic activity causing core dumps; solar electromagnetic activity; lunar albedo coloration favouring the shorter wavelength end of the visible spectrum; porcine aerial activity; and similar matters.
Be advised that all press releases are also contigent on various factors, heretofore referred to as meta-factors, that may or may not cause the information, including all specified factors and meta-factors, to differ materially from actual results and events. Meta-factors include, but are not limited to, the following: availability of automated spelling and grammar checking facilities; proper operation of software, including word processing, email, and operating system capabilities; sage guidance from the technical assistance staff of the MegaSoftware corporation; rapid response from the corporate information services telephonic support staff; co-location of public relations co-ordination and facilitation staff; and similar matters.
For additional information with respect to all factors, meta-factors, super-factors, sub-factors, and factorials, please refer to the circular file.
Posted by Isaac at January 20, 2005 4:35 PM